I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
