Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
