How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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