I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
