We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
