Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
