That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
