Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
