Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
home. puking in laundry basket.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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