No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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