but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
