she woke up with a sticky ear
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
