Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
