I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
