is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
