Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
only you would photoshop your dick
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
