...so i touched it.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
