Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
