You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm passing your future prison.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
