why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
