Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
