Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
