I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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