Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Are my feet made of real feet?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
