a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
