if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He felt like a one man threesome
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
