dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
