Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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