I am in a vortex of obligation.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
