im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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