i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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