So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
