put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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