My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
