I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
