Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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