I'm really into asian looking animals
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
