I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
