It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize