If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
