I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
