I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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