You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
