Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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