he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
