Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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