I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
