You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
