i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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