some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
