Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
