C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
