Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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