You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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