He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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