my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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