Yo dont text me then not text me
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Boobs are out for the taking
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
